Posts Tagged ‘Fingers1’

Guest Blogger: Cage

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

Eddo Fingerlings all—!

It’s true that I haven’t blogged very often. Little Rat hogs the computer most of the time, with a few interruptions by Ugly Dog, and so I am content to follow my more intellectual pursuits.

Intellectual pursuits? you query.

Indeed, I reply.

After all, one of my constant companions is the newspaper. Yes, an honest-to-bird physical newspaper, made out of paper, and filled with many things, often including news. But I also enjoy the horoscopes (I’m a Gemini), the crossword puzzles, the movie reviews, the sport scores, and the ads—especially those for fast automobiles and the satisfaction-guaranteed cure for fungus toenails.

It is fortunate that my interests are so varied, because on any given day, Fingers1 is apt to put just about any section of the newspaper in my cage. Sadly, it is usually the local rag, something called U-T San Diego. I much prefer Sundays, when there is some chance that Fingers2 will allow me to gaze upon the estimable New York Times with him.

It is because of my higher education that I knew what had happened the other day, and knew there was no need to panic.

It’s true: I had woken up as the subject of a Franz Kafka novel. I had grown so rapidly during my evening slumbers that I no longer fit in my domicile:

 

Ack! My Cage Shrank! Or Wait, I Grew! Waddya Mean, You Can Barely See Me? I'M RIGHT HERE! Getmeouttahere!

Ack! My Cage Shrank! Or Wait, I Grew! Waddya Mean, You Can Barely See Me? I’M RIGHT HERE! Getmeouttahere!

 

See? Calm as a Conure. It’s a new phrase taking the world by storm. (You’re welcome.)

I calmed down even more when I chanced to look out the window and see that Fingers1 was hard at work cleaning my beloved home. About time, too.

 

My Cage Is Lying Around OUTSIDE! In Bits and Pieces. Will Fingers1 Be Able To Put Humpty Together Again?!

My Cage Is Lying Around OUTSIDE! In Bits and Pieces. Will Fingers1 Be Able To Put Humpty Together Again?!

 

Later, I was returned to my rightful place. Whew—although I remained calm, I think it is much nicer NOT to be in a Kafkaesque situation.

 

I'm Not Sure My Cage Is Any Cleaner, But At Least I Am Back To My Appropriate Size.

I’m Not Sure My Cage Is Any Cleaner, But At Least I Am Back To My Appropriate Size.

 

Well, Fingerlings, that’s all the news that’s fit to print from here. Catch you later, okay?

 

Guest Blogger: Cage

Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Eddo!

My name is Rothko—oops, please excuse my lithp—I mean, Roscoe. Little Rat calls me Cage for some reason. I’ve nipped his nose a few times to try to straighten him out, but it hasn’t helped much.

I am a Green-cheeked Conure, also known as a Green-cheeked Parakeet. Here I am, in all my green magnificence:

 

I'm Not a Cage. I'm Also Not a Duck.

I'm Not a Cage. I'm Also Not a Duck.

 

Little Rat calls our people Legs1 and Legs2. What ridiculous names! As far as I can tell, they don’t even have any legs. Instead, I call them Fingers1 and Fingers2. As you can see from these photos, my names are much more appropriate than his.

Here is Fingers1:

 

The Deliciously Biteable Fingers1

The Deliciously Biteable Fingers1

 

And here is Fingers2:

 

The Stalwart and Manly Fingers2

The Stalwart and Manly Fingers2

 

Little Rat said I could be a guest blogger today, because I’ve had an exciting week: Fingers1 and Fingers2 took me to the doctor for the first time in my nearly 13 years of life!

I can’t say I was overly impressed. First some female fingers put me on a cold surface to weigh me. At least she stated the obvious, that I’m a good and handsome boy.

But then some male fingers came in, grabbed me, pinched me, poked me, prodded me, and called me names.

Among other things too rude to relate, he called me:

  • Skinny Ninny
  • Your Ribs Are Showing
  • Don’t Turn Sideways Or We’ll Lose You

And then he had the temerity to stick something sharp in my neck.

But it’s not all bad. After we got home, Fingers1 and Fingers2 gave me a bunch of new toys. However, my humans are not very bright, and they keep putting the new toys in my food bowl. I have to forcibly remove the items and throw them on the floor. But then Fingers1 and Fingers2 just give me more (hey, I said they’re not very bright!).

Here is a sampling of some of my strange new toys:

 

How Am I Supposed To Play With These Things?

How Am I Supposed To Play With These Things?

 

Well, thanks for stopping by. I’ve got to get back to work, seeing if any of these things in my cage jingle, swing, or reflect my beautiful visage.