Dearest Readers,

I bet you’ve been wondering why I haven’t posted this week.

It’s simple. I went over to Ugly Dog’s place to ask her to be an official Guest Blogger (in other words, NOT a hacker this time, but an actual invited guest).

And this is what happens! We have become stuck in an Ugly Dog standoff. It’s been going on for days. She calls it playing “Cat and Little Rat,” but I think that name is stupid.

There’s no telling when this will end, but you’ll be among the first to know.

Hang in there, Baby!

Love,

Jax
Head Writer @ Jax-Attax Blog

You Blinked! No, You Did! No, YOU Did!

Earlier this week, I wrote about the arrival of spring.

This new season seemed great at first, full of new clothes and headstands. But I have since found out that it is not all butterflies, buttercups, and other buttery items. (Mmm, butter!)

In fact, spring has a dark side, as evidenced by the horrifying creatures that have taken over the back yard. Legs1 and Legs2 call them “bunnies.” I call them “terrorists,” and you can see why:

Killer Rabbits In My Yard! (The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, by Platinum of Independents on FreakingNews.com)

They are ubiquitous, and they leave dozens of really really small landmines—or maybe I mean grenades—everywhere they go.

They have even taken to following me. I’m feeling particularly vulnerable right about now.

Jax Is Attacked. Or At Least Stalked.

This cannot stand, sir. THIS CANNOT STAND! If this is spring, I want winter back.

Spring is here. I can tell, because Legs1 got me a new outfit.

She told me that in general she won’t buy me useless clothes, but she couldn’t resist this:

The Noble Hound (Me!) In His Green Gingham Waistcoat

I do cut a stunning figure, don’t I?

I got so excited by this whole “spring” thing that I was forced to quote the Bard (Lewis Carroll) by exclaiming, “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” and stand on my head.

Whoa! Everything Looks A Bit Different When You're Upside Down And Inside Out

The other day, Legs1 took a closer look at my peace symbol bankie and decided it needed to be washed. I don’t know what that means, except that I ended up with a brand new outfit.

I was told that it’s a turtleneck and that I look smashing in it. I believe the second part of that statement goes without saying.

Here I am in my new togs. What do you think?

I Am Stylin' *and* Aerodynamic!

Anyway, this whole experience got me curious about turtlenecks. So I googled and giggled, binged and banged, yahooed and yeehawed.

And I learned a lot.

First of all, it turns out that I am on the cutting edge of fashion.  George Kotsiopoulos said in the January 11, 2012 edition of The Miami Herald that “The turtleneck will be the must-have item of the season.” According to him, with this one outfit, I can easily transform my look from grunge to preppy to Twiggy to Love Story.

I don’t know what that means. Ah, well!

But in easier-to-understand fashion reportage, on December 6, 2011, Rachel Roy was quoted in a New York Times article about the turtleneck’s renaissance thusly: “I don’t always have to show a lot of skin, but what I do want to show all the time is a lot of brains. And the turtleneck is strong, elegant, smart. I’m a turtleneck believer.”

I’m with her. “Brains, not skin,” is one of my favorite sayings.

Besides being a fashion necessity this season, turtlenecks have an interesting history. They’ve been around since at least the 15th century and have wrapped the necks of all sorts of humans (and dogs), from menial laborers to high-falutin’ celebrities (see wikipedia.org and turtlenecks.org).

Noel Coward popularized turtlenecks in the US in the 1920s. I found a photo of him later in life, and look—he is wearing a turtleneck AND A CHIHUAHUA! (And he has apparently slung a mongoose across his shoulders.) The synchronicity is amazing.

Noel Coward Has Fabulous Taste!

Meanwhile, Legs1 says that turtlenecks always make her think of Dick Cavett, but she doesn’t know why. I think it’s because he rocks the look almost as well as I do.

Dick Cavett, Turtleneck Model. Dick Cavett (b.1936), television personality and host of the long-running Dick Cavett Show, smiles while sitting for a portrait, 1978. Boston, Massachussetts.

Finally, I got curious about my old friend, Charlie Hunnam. Would a motorcycle dude be caught dead wearing a turtleneck? Maybe not exactly, but pretty darn close:

Charlie Hunnam, Keeping It Real, Even With An Almost-Turtleneck

You wouldn’t mess with him, right?

No one messes with me, either. Even when I go for the Love Story look.