I have no memorabilia from my time in the hoosegow, thank goodness.

But there are a few photos of me from my rescue days that I thought I’d share with you. I was pretty happy when I lived at Linda’s Home for Little Lost Dogs, even though Linda thought my name was “Buddy,” or sometimes “Little Buddy.” I told her over and over again that my name was Jax, but I don’t think she could hear me over the noise from all my foster sisters and brothers.

These pictures are small, because I used to be small before I came to live with Legs1 and Legs2. I hope you can see them.

Here I am in all my glory, including my curly tail. I’ll be featuring that in a future blog post.

Rescue Me

And here is my noble profile, including evidence of my ex- (wrong) name:

Little Buddy That Was

And here I am doing a little soft shoe:

Shuffle to the Left, Shake It on the Right

In general, I don’t dwell in the past. I like all four feet pointing forward. But thank you for joining me on this trip down Memory Lane!

When you’re in the Occupy movement, you have a lot of time to think about things.

Here’s a shot of me thinking about things:

Thinking and Thinking and Thinking

You can see that I have finally removed my hippie outfit and am now at one with nature.

At any rate, I have come up with a solution to the Ugly-Dog-hacked-my-blog problem! I feel that it is not only a creative solution, it is a mature and dignified one.

And here it is:

TA DA! Announcing a new feature of the Jax-Attax blog: guest bloggers! Sadie the Ugly Dog was our first correspondent, but there will be others, you’ll see.

I have photographic evidence that this disgruntles Ugly Dog no end. That’s how I know I’ve won!

I Will Get My Revenge, Little Rat!

I have not yet put together a schedule for the guest bloggers. At this point, I think I’ll keep it a surprise. So stay tuned—!

Yes, it’s true: I’ve joined the Occupy movement. I am among the 99% that like to bask in sunbeams—so, let’s call it Occupy Sunbeam.

It’s easy to resent the 1% that try to keep us from sunbeams: clouds, window coverings (no matter how tasteful), walls, the earth’s rotation around the sun causing this thing called “night time.”

You can tell I’m in the Occupy movement because I haven’t changed my clothes in a while: I am still wearing my peace symbol bankie. People call me a “dirty lazy hippie.” I don’t know what that means, but if it suggests I get to hang out in sunbeams all the time, then I’m all for it!

Let the Sunshine In!

I recently discovered that it rains in Sandy Eggo! I wasn’t even sure what rain was, but I was a good boy (Good boy, Jax—ahhh) and went out to the lawn to do my numbers* anyway. Next thing I know, gargantuan drops of water were pelting down on me, trying to crush my skull, drown my feet, and soak my tummy. So I did the obvious thing: I walked on my tippy toes, to minimize the wetness damage to moi.

But then I overheard this conversation between Legs1 and Legs2:

Legs1: He walks like a bowlegged sailor.

Legs2: That’s redundant. But I can’t disagree.

And they slapped this ridiculous outfit on me. It keeps my upper body dry, but I find I am still forced to walk en pointe. Maybe I need rain booties, too.

Fish Sticks, Anyone?

Meanwhile, you may think I have forgotten about Ugly Dog’s hack of my blog, but never fear: I am on it! I will have an announcement soon that will amaze you with its cleverness and maturity.

* A big shout out to the famous detective, Randolph the Labrador Retriever, for this diplomatic turn of phrase. For more, read his three-part biography, which starts with A Dog About Town, by J.F. Englert.

First, they boarded me.

Part of that was okay. I got to play with my friends, especially Nuby the Pug. But then I was shut in a scary cage by myself, without any covers to burrow under. I mean, I had a very nice pillow and lots of love, but it wasn’t the same AT ALL. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was torture. The word “boarded” seems to suggest that, right?

Then I got home and discovered my blog had been hacked!  By Ugly Dog!  And she called me Little Rat!  And declared war against me!  On my own blog!

It’s like the world doesn’t make sense any more.

I have donned my peace bankie, crawled onto the nearest lap, and closed my eyes until I can deal with this.

Maybe tomorrow.

Lap It Up

So, I let the Little Rat move in. I let him chase me. I let him hog the computer. But calling me an Ugly Dog?!

As a famous philosopher* once said, “I’ve had all I can stands. I can’t stands no more!”

It was no trouble at all to hack into his WordPress account. After I tried 1234 as the password, the next obvious choice was Jax4Ever. (By the way—what a lame attempt at l33ting! Everyone knows cats invented that fine art form.)

And now I can offer visual proof that I am not an Ugly Dog at all, but one of the most Beautiful and Beguiling Cats you’ve ever seen!

In All My Magnificence!

The Little Rat may think he can roar, but he ain’t heard nothing yet, for I AM SADIE, AND THIS MEANS WAR!

(And I’m a poet, but didn’t know it!)

* Popeye

It’s about time I told you about the other critters I live with.

I believe I mentioned that I live with two humans, Legs1 and Legs2. Here is a shot of moi with Legs1, in which you get to see a hint of why this blog is called Jax-Attax. See how vicious and mean I am?

In which I attack Legs1

And here is a picture of Legs2, looking all stalwart and manly:

The stalwart and manly Legs2

Next is someone I like to call Cage. Cage is a mystery to me: silent one moment, shrieking and carrying on the next. Legs1 and Legs2 fuss with him or her on a regular basis, so I guess it’s a family member.

The mysterious Cage

And you’ve met My Little Pony once before. Here’s my usual view of her:

My Little Pony

Finally, there’s this odd varmint. I call her Ugly Dog; I’m sure you can see why. I like to chase her up the stairs and then she throws swear words at me from this tower. Good times, good times.

Ugly Dog

It’s like a zoo around here! Luckily they’ve got me to run the place, or we’d all be in trouble.

What, you saying you’ve never seen a biker dog wear peace symbols before? Even on his bankie?

Where you been, man?

After all, peace is a pretty radical concept. All the best MCs (motorcycle clubs) have embraced it, in tattoo form if not in actual concept. You know, American flag, peace symbol, eagle, swastika, Harley-Davidson logo, naked ladies.

As the late great John Lennon sang, “All we ask is that you give peace a chance.” Especially on our bankies.

Besides, sometimes it gets cold, even in Sandy Eggo.

Peace Out!